What if I told you that staying in the wrong job doesn’t just drain you…
…it slowly chips away at your energy, your confidence, and your relationships—with your team, your company, even your family.
I know that might sound dramatic—but I see it every day as a career coach. Smart, driven people showing up for roles they’ve outgrown. Roles that used to fit, or maybe never really did.
So today, I want to take you on a journey—one that starts with Leadership Development Coach Kadine Cooper, CPCC. After 19 years in HR, she realized something was off. The work was no longer meaningful. The spark was gone. And the cost of staying misaligned? Too high to ignore.
Her story is powerful because it reveals not only the personal cost of staying misaligned, but also the ripple effect that career misalignment has in workplaces everywhere.
Prefer to Listen? Career Clarity After 19 Years in Corporate: Kadine’s Career Transition Story
What Causes Career Misalignment
Misalignment doesn’t always show up like a big red flag. Sometimes it’s subtle. You just... start to feel off.
Like you’re doing all the “right” things, yet still wondering why it feels wrong.
Maybe your strengths aren’t being used (or even noticed). Maybe your values quietly clash with your company’s, but it’s not bad enough to leave. Maybe you’re succeeding at something you never actually chose—just sort of fell into and got good at.
Sometimes the job changes. Sometimes you do.
And without realizing it, you wake up one day feeling like you're living someone else’s version of success. Slowly, almost invisibly, you start disconnecting from your own.
The Quiet Toll of a Job That Doesn't Fit
Kadine spent nearly two decades working in HR, talent management, and recruitment. She was the go-to person, the one everyone loved to be around.
But under the surface?
She was starting to disappear.
“In 2019, I quit my job because what I was doing and the company that I was with was no longer fulfilling to me and meaningful… I had no idea what I was gonna do. But I knew I didn’t wanna do that anymore full-time.” – Kadine
She didn’t leave because she had the next step perfectly planned out. She left because staying started to feel like self-abandonment.
And sometimes misalignment isn’t easy to explain. It’s that slow sense of detachment you can’t quite put your finger on.
You stop bringing your full self. You shrink to fit. You go through the motions, but it takes more and more out of you.
At some point, you stop feeling much of anything at all. Just... numb.
When your work no longer reflects your strengths, values, or goals (or maybe it never did), it chips away at your energy, your confidence, your clarity.
That’s the cost of misalignment.
What Job Misalignment Really Looks Like
Misalignment doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it whispers things like:
- "You're good at this, but it doesn’t make you feel alive."
- "You can do it, but it drains you."
- "You’re performing, but you’re hiding parts of yourself."
Kadine shared this with me, and it stuck:
“Not because you can do something means that you should do it. I went back and accepted temporary opportunities doing recruitment… but I learned very quickly that’s no longer something that I value or want to be doing.”
And wow, how many of us need to hear that?
Just because you can do the job, just because you're great at it, doesn’t mean it’s the work you’re meant to keep doing.
You don’t have to keep saying yes to something that no longer feels like a fit just because you’re good at it.
There’s a big difference between being skilled at something and feeling aligned with it.
Career Burnout vs. Career Misalignment
Let’s be clear: burnout is real. It’s often triggered by things like impossible workloads, toxic cultures, or a total lack of support.
But sometimes, what we think is burnout… isn’t.
Sometimes it’s misalignment — the kind that comes from doing work that goes against your nature, day after day. You’re not necessarily overloaded. You’re just completely disconnected from the work itself.
That’s exactly what came up in my conversation with Kadine on the podcast. I invited her to take the Sparketype® assessment — a tool that reveals the kind of work that energizes you, not just what you’re good at.
Her results?
- Primary Sparketype: The Nurturer — the one who thrives when helping and supporting others
- Shadow Sparketype: The Advisor — the one who lights up guiding and mentoring people
So much clarity. So many lightbulbs. But here’s the problem: her job stopped letting her be that person.
“I just love helping and supporting people… seeing people know their worth, feeling like they're seen and they're heard… that's what I love to do, provide that space.” – Kadine
And that’s the thing. When your role doesn’t allow you to operate in your zone of genius — that place where your natural gifts and passions meet purpose — the burnout isn’t just physical.
It’s emotional. Existential. Exhausting in a whole different way.
You’re not drained because you’re doing too much. You’re drained because you’re doing the wrong things.
And that’s a powerful distinction to make.
How Misalignment Hurts the Workplace
Misalignment doesn’t just drain the person experiencing it… it drains the workplace too.
When someone’s in the wrong role, they’re not able to contribute at their full potential. Their talents go untapped. Their motivation slips. Their presence dims. And the team feels it.
“The problem is not that there aren’t the right roles for the right people—it’s that people are in the wrong roles. And it’s hurting everyone.” — Theresa
Kadine felt it firsthand. Her role in HR used to be people-focused, rooted in care. But over time, the job shifted — and she found herself stuck in process-heavy work that left no space for real connection. The part of her that made her great at her job? No longer welcome.
When roles and people don’t match, no one wins. Not the employee. Not the team. Not the company.
This isn’t just a personal issue. It’s an organizational one.
Signs of Career Misalignment
If you’re wondering whether you’re misaligned in your current role, here’s a checklist to help you reflect:
âś… Self-Assessment Checklist
- Do you feel emotionally drained after work, even if the workload isn’t overwhelming?
- Are there parts of yourself you feel you have to hide at work?
- Do you constantly feel like you're meant for something more, but can't define what it is?
- Do you find yourself fantasizing about quitting, but feel too afraid to?
- Are you no longer excited to learn or grow in your current role?
- Are you good at your job, but it leaves you unfulfilled?
- Are your values out of sync with your company's culture?
- Are you staying for the money, prestige, or safety net—not passion?
If you checked three or more, it may be time to explore whether you’re in the wrong role.
The Hidden Traps That Keep You Stuck
Most people don’t stay stuck in the wrong role because they love spreadsheets or can’t live without Monday meetings.
They stay because of the pressure.
The pressure to not disappoint. To not throw away a “perfectly good” career. To not confuse your family, scare your manager, or leave your friends wondering what’s going on.
You’ve worked hard. You’ve built something that looks successful from the outside. Maybe your parents are proud. Maybe your team relies on you. Maybe it all feels too familiar to question.
But staying in something that shrinks you just to make everyone else comfortable? That’s not loyalty. That’s self-abandonment with a professional title.
You don’t have to burn it all down.
But you are allowed to want more.
And what if it’s not quitting? What if it’s realigning?
When Companies Dangle False Hope
One of the sneakiest forms of misalignment? Being sold a dream that never actually arrives.
Kadine accepted a role in recruiting with the promise that coaching might be part of the picture. She waited. She asked. She hoped. And after a year, the message was clear: maybe… in two years.
Her response? "I don’t have two years."
Sometimes the job isn’t the problem—it’s the bait-and-switch. It’s being told that the work you’re meant to do is coming soon, if you just hang in there a little longer. Meanwhile, your potential is collecting dust.
So she stopped waiting. She went out and got it herself.
That’s what reclaiming your career really looks like.
The Emotional Weight of Performing in a Box
Kadine shared something I hear all the time:
“There was a piece of me that showed up to work that fit into that square I was squeezed into. I did it well… but there was so much of me that didn’t ever show up at work.”
That breaks my heart. And I know it’s the reality for so many professionals — especially women.
We twist ourselves to fit in. We play small to avoid rocking the boat. We become the version of ourselves we think the job wants.
And for a while, it works. We’re praised. Promoted, even.
But inside? We’re shrinking.
Because the longer you stay misaligned, the more disconnected you become from yourself. And that quiet disconnect? It adds up.
That’s the emotional weight of misalignment. And it’s not something you should have to carry.
Job Misalignment Becomes Contagious
Here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: misalignment doesn’t stay neatly tucked between the hours of 9 and 5.
It follows you home.
It shows up in the short fuse with your partner.
The drained silence around the dinner table.
The feeling that even on your off days, you’re not really off.
When you spend your days performing in a role that doesn’t fit, you start running on emotional fumes. And even if you try to mask it, the people closest to you can feel the difference.
That’s the ripple effect of misalignment.
But here’s the beautiful truth: realignment is always possible. And it doesn’t have to be a massive leap overnight. Sometimes it starts with a single, honest question: What do I actually want?
You Will Not Be Starting Over
One of the biggest fears I hear is: “I can’t start over now.” But you won’t be. Every skill, every lesson, every mistake – it all stays with you.
Kadine summed this up beautifully:
“We’re so taught to go after a promotion, this company, this role. But what you’re actually going after is: who you are.”
It’s not about chasing more. It’s about coming home to yourself.
The Path to Career Realignment
So how do you get there? Here are a few powerful steps to start:
1. Name the Misalignment
Get radically honest about what’s not working. Don’t sugarcoat it.
2. Discover Your Energizers
Tools like the Sparketype assessment can help identify what gives you life versus what depletes you. Kadine discovered she’s a Nurturer and Advisor. What are you?
3. Visualize the Aligned Version of You
If you were fully yourself at work, what would that look like? What would you stop doing? What would you start?
4. Find Safe Support
Talk to a mentor, career coach, or trusted peer. Don’t try to figure this out in isolation.
5. Take Small, Brave Steps
Whether it’s signing up for a course, having a hard conversation, or updating your resume – just start. Momentum is powerful.
FAQs: Career Misalignment
How do I align my career with my personality?
Start by asking what energizes you. Not just what you’re good at. (Because you can be brilliant at something and still feel miserable doing it.) Your personality, values, and strengths should have a seat at the table. Tools like Sparketype® can help you figure out your natural drivers so you can match your career to your actual wiring — not just your resume.
What to do if you feel like you picked the wrong career?
First? Exhale. You’re not stuck. Feeling out of place isn’t a failure. It’s feedback. Get curious: Is it the work, the environment, the values mismatch? From there, start small: explore new paths, build a skill, have one honest conversation. This isn’t about quitting everything overnight, it’s about realigning, one intentional step at a time.
What does job alignment mean?
Job alignment means doing work that feels like you. Where your strengths are valued, your voice matters, and your days leave you fulfilled… not just paid. It’s when your role reflects your real goals and values, not the ones you inherited or settled for. Aligned work doesn’t mean every day is perfect, but it means you’re not pretending, shrinking, or running on empty just to make it through. You feel proud of how you spend your time. And more importantly? You feel like yourself doing it.
How do you know if a career path is not for you?
You’ll feel it in your bones before you’ll admit it out loud. Maybe you’re always tired. Maybe your strengths aren’t being used, or your values quietly clash with the culture. Maybe you’re succeeding at something you never chose. If the thought of doing it in five years makes you want to crawl under your desk… that’s a sign.
About Career Coach
Theresa White, Career Clarity Expert, 5x Certified Career Coach, and the Founder of Career Bloom, is known for her expertise in guiding people to get unstuck and find the direction they need to move forward in their careers—fast. In a time when so many people are re-evaluating their work, Theresa offers actionable insights that empower clients to identify their true strengths and pursue work that genuinely aligns with their goals.
Theresa’s clients often call her sessions “epiphanies” and “transformational.” She brings immediate clarity to career goals, helping people unlock a deep understanding of what makes work fulfilling for them. Past participants consistently describe her approach as “spot on” and an “answer to questions they’d been asking for weeks.”
Theresa’s approach is empathetic yet practical, and she’s known for empowering clients with a clear direction in as little as 30 days, guaranteeing results.
Connect with Theresa on LinkedIn, listen to the Career Clarity Unlocked Podcast, or schedule your free 30-minute career clarity consultation.
Final Words of Encouragement
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s the job. Maybe it’s both”—you’re not alone. And you’re not stuck.
You deserve to do work that makes you feel alive. Work that lets all of you show up. Work that honors your gifts.
And when you step into that kind of role, you won’t just be better for it – everyone around you will be, too.
So here’s to creating your own alignment. The cost of staying misaligned is too high. But the rewards of choosing yourself? Absolutely priceless.
Need help getting started? I’d love to support you on your journey. Let’s talk about what alignment could look like for you.
Book your free 1:1 Career Clarity Call and take the first step towards alignment.
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